Whenever life hands me a lemon or two, before I even consider making any lemonade, my first reaction is to reach out. To call my friends or my sister and simply unload. Complain about that disastrous date, or my evil boss, or even just whine and moan about that really witty tweet that got zero retweets!

It is a perfectly normal reaction to reach out and seek solace in that listening ear, to cry on that steadfast shoulder. We have surrounded ourselves with people we depend on and people that we expect to be there for us. These are our best friends.

However, there comes a time, or there will come a time, when you have to stand on your own.

Maybe your friends have unfairly abandoned you. (Those bastards!) Or maybe they have their own problems and don’t have the time or energy to deal with yours. You might have taken a stand in a matter and no one is seeing your point of view; the more you try and explain yourself the crazier everyone seems to think you are. (When obviously, you are perfectly sane it is they that are the ones on crazy pills.)  Finally, tragically, maybe the grim reaper has taken from you that one person you always expected to be in your corner.

Whatever the reason, you have to become your own hero.

We need to be able to trouble shoot our own lives without the technical support of our friends. To be able to self soothe and become emotionally independent. I am not saying that we need to turn into closed off  guarded people who don’t share our issues or trust anyone. Simply that we understand  our greatest support system lies within ourselves. The only person who will without a doubt, always be there for you, is you.

When you stop relying on others for encouragement and sustenance then you are unstoppable. So that in the event people do abandon you, or can’t understand your standpoint on an issue, or they call your dreams unrealistic and unreachable – you can go to this place of self resilience and reliance. It’s not going to be easy and sure enough when a downfall occurs you might crash and burn, but that will not be the end of it. Like the mythological phoenix you can rise again; and when you do, you get the best reward possible. Bragging rights! Who doesn’t love those? There is nothing better than a well placed “Look at me now! Ha! Told you so!”

Listen, I love my best friends and having them in my life to is wonderful, but I understand that actually being my own best friend, is vital.

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